in the thicket

Three months worth of plans and once when planning worked for me

I've tried so many different cleaning and organizational systems over time! I know there is really no perfect system, and that the system isn't really the problem, the problem is me not doing what I intend to to. Or not even having a plan for what I want to do, just having some vague "oh, I should do that" thoughts that flitter through my mind occassionally.

The girls and I were so proud of ourselves this summer. We made a plan, and we stuck with it! Our vehicle kept getting really gross last year, like gross to the point of "I should go park in the corner of the parking lot because I don't want people to see inside when I open the doors or look in my windows!" kind of gross. And I can't blame the girls entirely, there was a lot of stuff tossed on the front seat too, and that's my territory! We are usually so tired when we get home that we were just lazy about taking our stuff in the house and getting rid of trash.

Well, at the start of the summer, we spent an afternoon of really cleaning the car out well. And we decided that we WOULD keep it clean. Guess, what, we did! For most of the summer, about three months! Bathing suits/towels/books etc all came inside when we got home. I stopped giving them snacks in the car, that helped a lot with trash. The girls both kept noticing and commenting, "Mommy, our car is STILL CLEAN!" We were pretty impressed with ourselves!

There's a sad end to this tale... things got messy/gross again. Still not sure why, but I think we need to revisit that goal again, because I know we can do it! And they know it, too. It's not always fun or easy, but boy it feels better to ride around in a not-nasty car. We're not going to impress anyone with our snazzy 14 year old (yep) Ford Explorer, but at least when it's clean we won't be grossing anyone out!

Three months seems to be a nice chunk of time, to me. A season, really. And there are different levels of activity that I can manage in different seasons. I think that this winter will be a good time for me to focus on getting some projects done around the house, since we are home more and outside less. Here's some tentative plans for some bigger projects I'd like to tackle. If I get any of them done, maybe I'll blog about them here!

January goals:

Recipe/menu planning: Reorganize current menu binder to hold only those recipes that I really use, and put in a bigger binder. Come up with a list of family favorite meals and where I find the recipes (in binder or cookbook- I can't be bothered to copy recipes that I have in a cookbook, unless I decide to get rid of the cookbook!) Make it pretty and useful. (Wish I could do something like Sarah from Memories on Clover Lane did and make an actual cookbook, but that's a bit much for me right now!)

Bill/Budget organization: I've looked at a couple of different systems, and I'm intrigued by this binder method of filing bills and planning for bills, seen here... and I like Sarah at Clover Lanes simple approach to tracking spending in her budget notebook, too. (These are really two different things, and I should start doing both!)

February goals:

Painting: I have lots of painting projects... two bathrooms upstairs need to be painted, and also both girls have furniture that could use a coat of paint. This would probably keep me busy the whole month! Not sure if it would be bad to paint when it's cold outside, hope not!

March goals:

Pictures: I have never tackled organizing our old photos, and need to research how I want to handle this. Also, I don't regularly print photos for us to enjoy, or the scrapbook pages I've created over the years, so I need to come up with a plan or routine for doing this. And I would like to put some pictures in the frames I've purchased and never filled!

Purging: Revisit closets, drawers and spaces that haven't been addressed for a while in preparation for spring cleaning in April/May. I tend to regularly do this with some parts of my house (kids' toys, drawers in kitchen) but I need to do this in my attic and bonus room as well.

Okay, I think that's plenty to keep me busy for a few months! I have other projects that I don't want to assign to a particular month, though...

Other projects to fit in:

-Create a canopy to go over my oldest's bed, out of tulle- something sweet and girly, a DIY project. Also would like to create a bulletin board (cover with fabric?) for her, and change out some artwork in her room and update photos. (Probably good projects for February and March!)

-Encourage my husband to organize tools and such in the garage- it's a mess out there!

-Thrift and search for better dressers to replace ones falling apart in our bedroom and for additional storage in other parts of the house. Maybe paint them, so possibly do this in February.

I'll be thrilled if I do even some of these things within this time-frame. They all should be done, but I am usually a lot slower to tackle projects than I'd like to be. Maybe this will be the kick in the pants I need!

 

 

Some birthday thoughts... for myself, mostly!

So, today is my birthday! I'm thirty-five today. Tomorrow is my oldest daughter's birthday, she will be eight! I always tell her she should be thankful that she has her own birthday, since they wanted to induce me such that she would have been born on *my* birthday. But being the ever-so-thoughtful person I am, I held out... then gave in and allowed them to START inducing me on my birthday, so that my in-laws could make it home in time to be with the rest of the family on Thanksgiving. It's always been one of those funny things to me... how when you have a child, suddenly your own birthday is so much less important. Yeah, mine is just the one before the really important birthday, which is sort of a birthday for me as well, since it's the day I got to become a hands-on mommy instead of an in-utero mommy. So, the birth of a mother.

I think we all tend to have those dates or birthdays or moments when you do stop and take stock. I think this might be my moment. It's been a pretty interesting 35 years for me (it's always good when someone thinks their own life is interesting, right?) and a pretty intense eight years of motherhood as well. So much of who I am is defined by being a mother. It's always fun to think of myself in my different stages- I definitely have my favorite! A child in a troubled family (alcoholism, suicide, remarriage, bad marriage, divorce, abundance and poverty, emotional abuse were all at play in my family growing up). A teen trying to separate and individuate, somewhat unsuccessfuly, in high school. In college, finally gaining independence and confidence and finding my niche (this was one of of my favorite stages!) Then grad school, which the transition to adulthood and then marriage. And when I should have been wrapping that up and settling into an academic career, a new little person came into my life, and I decided to focus on being a mom instead. New adventures, new titles, and lots of "it's not about me, it's about them" came into focus.

I love my life. I really don't have regrets, other than wasting time, money and energy on things that I shouldn't have. I'm really glad to be where I am in life right now. Yes, there are moments of being frustrated and overwhelmed, but really I'm good. And thankful. And blessed.

But, I think it's good to sort of stop here for a minute, and think about things. Sort of take a deep breath. My children are not so little right now, but they are still needy, and will be for a while. And try to look ahead to my next milestones... one year out, five years out. What will it be like when I'm 40? I know my family will still be my primary focus- I'll be celebrating my daughter's 13th birthday when I'm 40! I really hope that I will be someone who is up for the task of parenting a teen daughter, well, in this time and place. And I hope that I find joy and satisfaction in my life a year and five years from now.

I'm trying to shape my thoughts about what my priorities are, so that I can be the woman that I want and hope to be down the road. When I think of my future self, I hope that I am more of who God wants me to be, since I know He is at work, transforming me. I'm so easily distracted, by the unimportant (which is not the same as mundane, to me) that I had to come up with some simple words that capture how I want to be in five years.

Connected... I hope that I continue to be strongly connected to my husband, children, family, and friends. I hope that I can continue to build friendships and deepen relationships. I also am thinking of connections to church and volunteer organizations that I am part of.

Content... I think it's very natural when looking forward to be thinking of material things, accomplishments, home environment, etc. I hope that I am content, not because I will have more, but because I will have the right attitude about what I have. And of course, I hope I am content with less, do more with less, and all those other lovely simple living philosophies.

Confident... Here I'm thinking of a confidence in God, in knowing that I belong to Him, that he has placed me here for a reason. The kind of confidence that I'm thinking of doesn't come from self-help books, but will come out of relationship with the Lord and others that he places in my life. And confidence knowing that if things don't go as I plan or hope or dream (and they may very well not!) that he's there with me.

What I don't want to be... a mindless consumer! What I do want to be- a doer! A creative, active person. I want to be mindful about my use of technology (I have to admit I've played a few too many games on my new smartphone!), media and getting sucked up in the obtainment of stuff (aka be content.)

As a mother of course I always have plenty to do, but I need to be thoughtful and also I do need to have a better handle on the big picture. I can continue to be pretty much at my children's beck and call, and find myself exhausted in five years. Or I can be largely available to my children, but also carve out some time for me to do things that are good for me and will help me be a better mother. I need to get better at that balance, and maybe look for women in my life who model this well. (I don't want to stop being an attentive mom, but I am really looking forward to doing things that are important to me personally, and I need to model that for my girls as well.)

This has been a fun mental exercise. I'm always just thankful to be here, mindful of my rather privileged existence (to have the ability to be home with my kids, and not want for food or shelter, and be with people I love and care about.) As the daughter of a mother who committed suicide, I think that somehow that sharpens my awareness and thankfulness for where I am today. I wish that my mother was here to celebrate my birthday with me, but sadly she is not. Still, I am thankful that she was my mother, and that I'm here today.

What I've been reading and (mostly) loving

Recently a facebook friend lamented that she had to turn in "Maise Dobbs" because she couldn't renew it, but was tempted to keep it a few days extra to finish reading. I immediately wanted to know more, that is the kind of book recommendation that I appreciate! Thanks to that comment, I've discovered Jacqueline Winspear's "mystery" series featuring Maise Dobbs. These books are a bit hard to categorize, but I would say they are psychological mystery novels. Each book does have one or two investigations that the insightful private detective Maise Dobbs is engaged with, but there is a great deal of character development and backstory packed into these relatively slim little books. The setting is England after the First World War, which is a time that I am fairly ignorant of so I have really been enjoying that as well. (Another similar series that I like, but not as much, is by mother/son writing team Charles Todd- it also features an independent young woman investigating things, but she currently a nurse during the war during the course of the stories- the Bess Crawford series, also worth checking out though!) There is a bit of "spiritualism" and a sort of new-age vibe in some of Winspear's books, but I think that reflects the time period as well. (She likes to sit in a room shortly after a crime was committed and make observations and try to sense what the spirit/personality/mood of the person involved had been.) So far, I've read the first book, "Maise Dobbs", "Pardonable Lies", and then going backwards, I'm currently reading "Birds of a Feather".

The next book I've finished recently qualifies me for a "I can't believe I read the WHOLE THING!" award. If there isn't such an award, I hearby make it up and give it to myself. "Fall of Giants", by Ken Follett. I read and really enjoyed the other two historical books he wrote ("The Pillars of the Earth" and "World Without End"). I had some concerns about starting this book, because I had started it as an audio book and didn't get very far. It is definitely a book that I needed to be able to read on my own. There were certain parts/story lines that really drew me in, and others not so much. This is book one of the Century Triology, covering the time leading up to the first World War (I can't say WWI, since at the time they obviously didn't know about the second one to come, thank goodness!) I really enjoyed most of the storylines, though there were really some unlikeable characters, though no villians per say. (Unlike Pillars of the Earth in particular, which had characters I loved to hate.) I've described Ken Follett's writing style to my husband as excessively detailed at times- in terms of actions (building a cathedral, but a good kind of detailed), relationships, and ummm intimate bedroom scenes. Almost more like a man describing a detailed battle (which he does quite a bit) except he is describing a more intimate encounter- almost a dry, clinical, detached description at times. One positive is that really there was a bit less of the latter in Fall of Giants than in his other two books, which as a mom who is often reading while watching her kids at the park or taking care of them generally, I do appreciate. I hate to be a kill-joy but some things are best left inferred, don't necessarily need a word picture!

That leads me nicely into a book which I also truly loved, and was quite an undertaking for me to read. "When Christ and His Saints Slept" by Sharon Penman. This was a wonderful historical novel about Empress or Queen Maud and her cousin Stephen, and their bloody decades-long battle over England's throne. I had some curiousity about this time period because of "Pillars of the Earth" by Follet (same time period), and also because of the history readings we have done for my daughter's homeschool. I felt this author had a wonderful writing style, character development and told a darn good tale that spanned decades and countries. And thankfully, the bedroom scenes were very tastefully done and appropriate. I am excited that I enjoyed this book so much, because this author has been quite prolific so I have a lot of good books to look forward to! Next up is "Time and Chance" which picks up with Henry II's marriage to Eleanor of Acquitaine. Between Penman's books and the Winspear series, I will have plenty of good "curl up and read" books to keep me occupied this winter!

Oh, but how could I forget- I'm also getting current on old favorite, Father Tim! I have "In the Company of Others" by Jan Karon in my reading pile as well. It will be nice to pick that up if I am feeling overwhelmed by all the historical fiction I'm reading!