in the thicket

Why did I wait so long?

I think that sometimes there are books or movies that are so popular that the rebellious side of my hesitates to jump onboard, so to speak. (Maybe it's a form of snobbery on my part?) Harry Potter fell into that category for me. Which is really too bad, for me! I could have been enjoying it along with everyone else!

I did read the first book, years ago, but for some reason it did not grab me. Maybe I was too loyal to the favorite authors of my youth (Madeline L'Engle in particular) that I didn't want to let myself get drawn in? Who knows! I remember when I was in graduate school, I was shocked when a classmate of mine spent a week or so heading over to Borders (the "flagship store" in downtown Ann Arbor) to read the entire series. She loved it and seemed surprised when I said I didn't find it that interesting. I should have listened to her!

We've been going through Harry Potter as a family for the past year. Our 7 year old was immediately a huge fan! I was amazed at how much she loved it. My husband or I (mostly my husband) read it out loud to her. Then I would sneak and read what I missed. I had also seen the movies through book 4 at my in-laws. Finally, I started reading them ahead of my daughter, so I could gauge when she'd be ready for the more intense later books. I read Book 5 over a couple of weeks, then read Book 6 over a week or so and then... I couldn't help it... started Book 7 two days ago and finished it up today! It's been a while since I've had a late-night reading marathon, but I really just could not stop reading. Love when that happens!

I'm pretty sure that everyone else I know has really read them. But just in case anyone stumbles across this who hasn't read them, then please, reconsider and start reading immediately! They really ARE as good as everyone says. Now I have that disappointing sense of let-down that happens when you finish a really wonderful story.

I think I'll still have to wait on the last two (three?) movies, though... I can't figure out a way to see them without my 7 year old knowing, and she would NOT like it if I saw the movies before her, but we have a family rule that you read the book before the movie. Oh well, something to look forward to!

Life is messy

I've been smiling recently as I've been running across more and more "keeping it real" posts from bloggers that I read regularly. I have just a little blog here so it's not that hard for me to be "honest" but I'm sure that some bloggers with "picture-perfect blog lives" do feel the pressure at times.

We're home sick from church this morning, some fevers still lingering (oh dear, I can't even remember the last time we made it to church, gah, that does not make me happy... accept, move on, and pray for good health & motivation!). But we're doing some Christmas crafting. This is a typical level of daily clutter for us, though it does get cleared off in time for dinner at night. I left out my grizzly-looking "razor broke after 15 years but can't commit to a new one" husband, though.

Today we're more than a little bit messy and cranky (anyone else's kids get really cranky as they are getting over being sick?) and less than motivated to whip it all into shape. I'm too lazy to take pictures of my whole house, but not too dissimilar from thi

 

Some new and old blog posts that have encouraged me!

Chatting at the Sky- Embrace the Living

Meg Duerkson- I want you to know

Remodeling this life- Done with love, not perfection

And The Nester's series on 31 Days to a Less Messy Nest... because even though our "nests" do get messy, we don't want to become potential Hoarder's episodes!

Magical December Day

It started with the "really big gingerbread men" that Granddaddy brought from Trader Joe's. Much fun to decorate, not so tasty for eating we figured out!

Sometimes life gives special little gifts. "Movie moments" I sometimes think, where things seem more magical than they normally do. Here in Central North Carolina, we are not accustomed to snow in December, so it was a sweet surprise when it started falling about two o'clock on Saturday afternoon.

My husband had just finished getting the leaves up in the front yard, and was thinking about tackling the back yard when it started falling. The girls ran outside (barefoot!!!) to see it. They went back out later, bundled up MUCH better because it was really cold!

This weekend was also the logical weekend for us to get and decorate our tree, though I wasn't feeling quite ready for all the Christmas decorating- house not clean enough, didn't declutter enough, blah blah blah. Thankfully we let the girls' enthusiasm propell us out the door to the Christmas Tree lot where it is now our "tradition" to purchase our tree, Wagoner's. Every year we have gone since we moved here there seems to have been a weather calamity of some sort- one year there was gusty wind and a tree almost fell on Gwen! It was definitely cold and wet but beautiful this year.

I love the JOY and HAPPINESS that Charlotte in particular radiated. I feel so blessed when I catch those "real" smiles from here, see her silliness. Her dad and I hope she stays like this for quite a while, and doesn't too quickly slide into the cynicism that seems to happen for some pre-teens and teens, and sadly for many adults, including us at times.

I have lots more pictures of the beautiful snow, but will refrain from posting them because I think I've shared enough at this point! It was my kind of snow, though, enough to look beautiful and thrill the girls but not enough to hang around and become an unwelcome guest. Thanks for sharing a bit of our magical day with us. :)

Give Thanks

I got a little crafty today. :) Fun, simple easy craft- the letters are from At Second Street- Thanks! :)

Two very different personalities

One of the hardest things for me to accept as a parent is that my children are as they are right now, not as I wish them to be. I need to remember how hard it is for *me* to learn this lesson even as I’m trying to teach my children and encourage them to make better choices or more mature choices… they can, but they are limited by where they are developmentally and the particular aspects of their personality. But I am learning how I can push and encourage, and when to back down or when to let them struggle a bit and come through OK.

An example is today. We went to go see “How to Train your Dragon” in 3-D, which is a new experience for them. After talking with several parents, I felt that the movie would not be too intense for them, overall. My biggest concern was Gwendolyn (VERY active, very wiggly) sitting through the whole movie, but I hoped that the dragons (she likes them) and 3-D would help engage her more. I completely forgot that Charlotte struggles with sensory issues and will have an initial strong “flee” response when she is overwhelmed. So in the theater when the previews started she got upset and started crying because it was too loud. I encouraged her that she would get used to it, and she covered her ears and huddled next to me.

I hadn’t thought through the 3-D mostly because I haven’t seen a 3-D movie myself. Gwen happily put on her glasses and started watching, with no problem. Charlotte put them on and took them off because she said it was weird. Then she said she didn’t want to be watching the movie and she wanted to go home. (All the way home… we’re visiting grandparents now.) But I knew that she had to go through her initial “adjustment” freak-out period. She cried. She whimpered. She held onto my arm. Then after about 15 minutes I peeked at her, and she had her glasses on, and was watching the movie. From that point on, she was totally fine.

Gwen, on the other hand, was OK at first, and then got her usual case of the wiggles. I think at just-turned 4 years old she’s just not quite ready for movies. I need to accept that she will probably stand up and wiggle around. (She danced through much of “The Princess and the Frog.”) I think a lot of it is the theater being dark, she needs more sensory stimulation, because the darkness makes her sleepy and she needs to wake up more. I will continue to take her to movies, but chose times when it won’t be crowded, when there would be other kids, and maybe have her on the end so she could trot up and down the stairs a bit if she needed too- probably better than patting people on their heads in front of her like she did inadvertently today! (The person was very nice about it, thankfully!)

Charlotte’s initial reaction was a bit surprising to me simply because in some ways she has moved past some of those issues, but I was proud of her that she stuck it out and didn’t get TOO disruptive when she was upset and was able to enjoy the movies. I have to admit I dream of just being able to do something like go to a movie without a hassle or worrying about a child getting upset or disruptive… but at least we made it through and I think all enjoyed the movie and I hope didn’t ruin anyone else’s experience.

I have kids who have rather extreme responses to things, and at times I wonder am I too easy on them or to harsh with them, and whether I am accepting of their immaturity or should expect more from them. I think this is a pretty normal struggle, though. I really appreciate Sally Clarkson’s writing and ministry, and a book that she recommends is “Hints on Child Training” by Henry Clay Trumball. I’ve read it before, but I’m re-reading it. The first chapter talks about “training from birth” which does get my hackles up a bit, but he goes on to make some points which I think does have some wisdom. I’m not sure that I’ll agree with everything I read, but I am willing to thoughtfully read the book to see what insights I can get as I try to sort out how to bring out the best in my kids without expecting them to be someone they are not (idealized children who always act in a way that reflects positively on me, for example.)

On a different note, "A New Coat for Anna"

This week we have been "rowing" a charming book called "A New Coat for Anna." Speaking of funks, as I was in my last post, I think Charlotte & I had gotten into a bit of a funk with the selection of "Five in a Row" books. This is the "backbone" of our homeschool experience right now, so her attitude (and mine) toward our book each week is a huge influence on how our week goes.

We had a rocky start, I think in part because Charlotte has been predisposed to not like my selection of books. But I knew I had a winner here, the story is about a young girl, Anna, and her mother in an unnamed post-war European country. Her mother had promised Anna that she would buy her a new coat, but when winter came there were no coats in the stores and no money to buy them. So Anna's mother made a loving and sacrificial choice to part with some items of monetary value, in order to barter for what she needed to get a new coat for Anna, starting with the wool, progressing through spinning, dyeing, weaving, and tailoring. The first reading Charlotte sat through but then said she didn't like it. I overruled her, though, and the second day I let her work on a project while I read it to her, and I noticed her work fell by the wayside as she was drawn into the story. The second reading was "Language Arts" and Charlotte was eager and able to remember the order of the steps and what Anna's mother bartered. She also noted that the time between each step got shorter, ending with the tailor requiring one week to sew her coat. She enjoyed it so much the second time that she begged me to read it again. (I reminded her we would read it again- the next day!)

Wednesday was art, and she enjoyed making a woven paper place mat. She saw how the way she wove the paper really did make her mat stronger or prone to fall apart. Today was math, and we noted the measurements that the tailor made, and then replicated those measurements on her "mini" Kit doll. Then I made a pattern for a longer coat and cut out some cheap felt, and we both worked on sewing a little coat. I have never made doll clothes before and think I have a bit of a learning curve, I took a shortcut that let to the sleeves being a bit long & tight! Then Charlotte had fun modifying the felt and coming up with some of her own original outfits (sticking them on the actual doll with pins!) It was a fun activity, and is whetting my appetite to figure out how to make doll clothes and maybe try some simple projects with the sewing machine. I should take another look at Amanda Soule's books and see if I can find some simple projects.

This is the actual "coat" I sewed, dressed up and accessorized by Charlotte.

Snow Day

3 trips outside to play in snow & sleet

4-5 inches of snow

4 changes of clothes

8 pairs of socks used up

1 pancake dinner

2 really happy girls!

The wonder of learning at home

As I indicated in a post a few days ago, I'm not one of the super-organized homeschool moms that you might meet. I don't make file folder games that often, don't have colorful posters with the alphabet hanging in my kitchen or a "schoolroom", and well actually I don't have a schoolroom. We have a kitchen table (for messy crafts) and a large table in our family room (for non-messy activities.) I do have three bookshelves filled with supplies and books, though!

I often think about what is it that I can *really* offer my children that they could not receive in a school environment. Why is it better for them to learn in the context of our home, to learn under my guidance? (And my husband's, he definitely contributes!) And I think about what makes my children smile, what makes them giddy. Which is so simple. Positive attention from me.

Sometimes I really do get caught up in the endless circle of "it's got to get done..." Cooking, laundry, cleaning. I am a bit of a clean freak, I hate to admit. Recently I have been reminding myself, the girls are the reason I'm doing this. What's going to make them happier- a decluttered junk drawer (one choice for my time in that moment) or sitting in my lap to enjoy a story. So I hurry through the basics, maybe just this time leaving a pot in the sink that I could have taken a minute to wash, so that I can go sit in the big chair with two wiggly girls. Or on the couch with them and a cat. Or a new favorite, on the floor near light coming in from our back door. Yes, it's the opposite of what all the "homemaking" books and blogs say, but it's what I need to do.

And then, while I'm enjoying them, snuggling them, noticing them, I see the learning, I see them get inspired and excited. I don't have to convince my 6 year old to work on her handwriting because she is excited about visiting a family friend and decides to spend 30 minutes copying "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Sugar is Sweet, But not sweeter than you!" I rejoice to see her dedication, effort and excitement, and how she is now writing with lowercase letters, instead of all uppercase like she did six months ago. My 3 year old draws a picture of her favorite "subject"- "Mommy, this is a picture of YOU!" and I see how she's adding more and more details and I'm just tickled. At bedtime, my 6 year old picks up the "Biscuit" reader while I'm getting her sister into jammies, and reads almost all of it and then is so excited and proud of herself. I note these things to remind myself that these were unplanned moments, and to me they are evidence that my girls are really learning and growing and thriving. And I'm so glad to be here to see this and to share in their excitement.

I'm sticking with my "plan" but I'm also excited and hopeful that I'm going to continue to be surprised by what they learn and how they learn. And for the rest of this school year, I have a goal. A big goal. I want us to have a lot of FUN, to enjoy lots of GIGGLES and SNUGGLES. And I know they will learn... I have a feeling that the more I love on them, and the more we giggle and chase and I let them make messes, the more they will learn.

Mishmash...

That's what I feel my life is like lately. A pleasant but somewhat anxiety-provoking mishmash of daily activities. Trying to fit the unpleasant and mundane around the enjoyable and memorable...

 

Because I have mommy-brain, I know I should write these things down. Because I have mommy-brain, I forget to take the time or I am too fatigued to do so. But I think I can manage a top 10 list for the past month of what we've been up to... in no particular order, just some of my favorite memories...

1. C's sixth birthday party. *sniff* My baby is six! We had the party on a Wednesday afternoon (school kids get an early release that day, so they were able to get here by 3 p.m.) Our house was full of kids of all ages. The theme was "Tinkerbelle and Pirates" in order to appeal to both girls and boys. We had some fun decorations, and I set up some games, like pirate treasure hunt (digging coins and rings out of a container full of rice), necklace & bracelet making (fruity cheerios on pipe cleaners), the Pirate Ship Corner, and "grab the loot" where kids threw hoops onto a tablecloth covered with candy (instead of a pinata). They also ran around in the back yard. It was a bit crazy but I think everyone, including the birthday girl, had fun!

2. Thanksgiving at Grandma & Grandpa's... plenty of time to hang out with family, let the girls play with their cousins. And I'm not the cook, though I'd like to contribute more next year.

3. Watching C finish running her first "real race", a 1 mile "fun run" at the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving. She ran the whole thing and finished in under 15 minutes! But now I've heard the complaints, that her aunt who ran it with her wouldn't let her stop. But she did great.

4. Watching my 3 year old have an "art explosion". She cannot get enough art activities in her day, it's non-stop watercolor painting and drawing faces, with the amusing little commentaries that come along with it.

5. Going out for a girls' night out with two dear friends for my birthday. Sad because one other friend couldn't make it but really we did have a great time.

6. Reading my favorite book of the year, "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett. I wrote a review of it, should post here. I read another book that had some parallels to it, I felt, "The House at Riverton" by Kate Morton and really enjoyed that as well.

7. Wish I could say I had a great date night with my husband, but I haven't had that opportunity... I did, however, finally give him the OK to buy a new TV! He has been shopping for quite a while, and just last night he finally settled on a 32 inch TV from Costco as a short-term solution to one of our TV's dying (the one he retreats to watch hockey on.) So we shifted TV's around and now have a flat screen in our family room. I'm happy because it was inexpensive and it's not too large, dh is happy because the picture quality is great.

8. Christmas decorations... enjoyed buying our tree from the same lot for the 3rd year in a row (so now it's a tradition that we get our tree there!) and being pleasantly surprised to come home and find that dh and my 6 yo had put the lights on themselves, without my help. The girls both enjoyed helping decorate this year, more than in the past.

9. Disney on Ice. I wish this was a completely positive memory... the girls both really enjoyed the first half, I'll leave it at that!

10. Reading favorite Christmas stories with my children, and talking about the *real* meaning of Christmas, that we are celebrating our Lord's miraculous birth, or in 3 & 6 yo's language, it's Jesus's Birthday Party! And we give each other gifts to remember the gift of eternal life that Jesus gave us, and in honor of his birth.

And a quick list of my top 10 challenges right now...

1. Clutter; 2. Laundry; 3. Meal planning and cooking the meals I planned; 4. the girls shifting from playing nicely to beating each other up in the blink of an eye; 5. the challenge of my 3 yo giving up her nap but still needing one sometimes; 6. my lack of time management skills; 7. fitting in homeschool instead of making it the first priority like I should; 8. making sure I spend one-on-one time with both girls and not just the most demanding; 9. holiday shopping; 10. not getting so caught up in the busyness of life that I forget to enjoy each day for what it is.